Admissions and Scholarship Essays
In writing the essay you must bear in mind your two goals: to persuade the admissions officer or scholarship committee that you are extremely worthy of admittance into their school or receiving college assistance and to make the evaluator aware that you are more than a GPA and ACT score, that you are a real-life, intriguing personality. The personal statement/essay provides you with the opportunity to present the YOU not revealed by your standard application. You're able to give a VOICE and a PERSONALITY to your application. Use that VOICE wisely!
ANSWER THE QUESTION!! You can follow all of the steps, but if you miss the question, you will not get the scholarship.
Be Original- Even seemingly boring essay topics can sound interesting if creatively approached. The scholarship committee wants to learn about you and your writing ability. Write about something meaningful and describe your feelings, not necessarily your actions. If you do this, your essay will be unique.
Okay: "I worked long hours for many weeks to train for XXX competition."
Better: "Every morning I awoke at 5:00 to sweat, tears, and blood as I trained on the uneven bars hoping to bring the state gymnastics trophy to my hometown."
Be Specific- Avoid clichéd, generic, and predictable writing by using vivid and specific details. Appeal to the five senses of the scholarship officers.
Okay: "I want to help people. I have gotten so much out of life through the love and guidance of my family, I feel that many individuals have not been as fortunate; therefore, I would like to expand the lives of others."
Better: "My Mom and Dad stood on plenty of sidelines 'til their shoes filled with water or their fingers turned white, or somebody's golden retriever signed his name on their coats in mud. I think that kind of commitment is what I'd like to bring to working with fourth-graders."
Prove It- Develop your main idea with vivid and specific facts, events, quotations, examples, and reasons. For example, if you say that one of your best qualities is leadership, give an example where you demonstrated leadership. There's a big difference between simply stating a point of view and letting an idea unfold in the details.
Okay: "I like to be surrounded by people with a variety of backgrounds and interests"
Better: "During that night, I sang the theme song from Casablanca with a baseball coach who thinks he's Bogie, discussed Marxism with a little old lady, and heard more than I ever wanted to know about some woman's gall bladder operation."
Revise, Revise, Revise!!!! Check and re-check your essay to avoid simple spelling and grammatical errors. Have at least 2 people proof your essay before submitting it. Consider these questions:
-What is the essay about?
-Do I answer the question completely?
-Have I used active voice verbs wherever possible?
-Is my sentence structure varied or do I use all long or all short sentences?
-Do I support my main idea withspecific facts, events, quotations, examples, and reasons?
-Do you detect any clichés?
-Does my introduction make the reader want to read the entire essay?
-Do I use transition appropriately?
-Do I use imagery often and does this make the essay clearer and more vivid?
-What's the best part of the essay?
-What about the essay is memorable?
-What's the worst part of the essay?
-What parts of the essay need elaboration or are unclear?
-What parts of the essay do not support your main argument or are immaterial to your case?
-Is every single sentence crucial to the essay? This MUST be the case.
-What impression does the conclusion leave? Does it persuade the reader or impress upon them my qualifications?
Avoid phrases such as "in conclusion, in summary, to conclude, etc."
-What does the essay reveal about your personality?
-Could anyone else have written this essay?
-How would you fill in the following blank based on the essay: "I want to accept you to this college because our college needs more ________."
Read your essay aloud to catch typos, and more importantly, to hear the tone and flow of the essay. Read it to someone, and have that person read it back to you.
Big words do not necessarily make a good essay. They are fine, but only if used in the appropriate context with complex styles.
Adapted from internationalstudent.com, Supercollege.com and The College Application Essay, by Sarah Myers McGinty
ANSWER THE QUESTION!! You can follow all of the steps, but if you miss the question, you will not get the scholarship.
Be Original- Even seemingly boring essay topics can sound interesting if creatively approached. The scholarship committee wants to learn about you and your writing ability. Write about something meaningful and describe your feelings, not necessarily your actions. If you do this, your essay will be unique.
Okay: "I worked long hours for many weeks to train for XXX competition."
Better: "Every morning I awoke at 5:00 to sweat, tears, and blood as I trained on the uneven bars hoping to bring the state gymnastics trophy to my hometown."
Be Specific- Avoid clichéd, generic, and predictable writing by using vivid and specific details. Appeal to the five senses of the scholarship officers.
Okay: "I want to help people. I have gotten so much out of life through the love and guidance of my family, I feel that many individuals have not been as fortunate; therefore, I would like to expand the lives of others."
Better: "My Mom and Dad stood on plenty of sidelines 'til their shoes filled with water or their fingers turned white, or somebody's golden retriever signed his name on their coats in mud. I think that kind of commitment is what I'd like to bring to working with fourth-graders."
Prove It- Develop your main idea with vivid and specific facts, events, quotations, examples, and reasons. For example, if you say that one of your best qualities is leadership, give an example where you demonstrated leadership. There's a big difference between simply stating a point of view and letting an idea unfold in the details.
Okay: "I like to be surrounded by people with a variety of backgrounds and interests"
Better: "During that night, I sang the theme song from Casablanca with a baseball coach who thinks he's Bogie, discussed Marxism with a little old lady, and heard more than I ever wanted to know about some woman's gall bladder operation."
Revise, Revise, Revise!!!! Check and re-check your essay to avoid simple spelling and grammatical errors. Have at least 2 people proof your essay before submitting it. Consider these questions:
-What is the essay about?
-Do I answer the question completely?
-Have I used active voice verbs wherever possible?
-Is my sentence structure varied or do I use all long or all short sentences?
-Do I support my main idea withspecific facts, events, quotations, examples, and reasons?
-Do you detect any clichés?
-Does my introduction make the reader want to read the entire essay?
-Do I use transition appropriately?
-Do I use imagery often and does this make the essay clearer and more vivid?
-What's the best part of the essay?
-What about the essay is memorable?
-What's the worst part of the essay?
-What parts of the essay need elaboration or are unclear?
-What parts of the essay do not support your main argument or are immaterial to your case?
-Is every single sentence crucial to the essay? This MUST be the case.
-What impression does the conclusion leave? Does it persuade the reader or impress upon them my qualifications?
Avoid phrases such as "in conclusion, in summary, to conclude, etc."
-What does the essay reveal about your personality?
-Could anyone else have written this essay?
-How would you fill in the following blank based on the essay: "I want to accept you to this college because our college needs more ________."
Read your essay aloud to catch typos, and more importantly, to hear the tone and flow of the essay. Read it to someone, and have that person read it back to you.
Big words do not necessarily make a good essay. They are fine, but only if used in the appropriate context with complex styles.
Adapted from internationalstudent.com, Supercollege.com and The College Application Essay, by Sarah Myers McGinty